Ashford (Middlesex) Hockey Club

Goal scorers:
Shaggy, Big Amit

MoM:
Rhino

‘Imperial Airways! BOAC! Terminal 5! Concorde! That opera music on your ad! Complimentary hot towels! Willie Walsh - can you hear me, Willie Walsh! Your boys took one hell of a beating! Your boys took one hell of a beating!’**

Actually we came from 2-0 down to draw 2-all but it felt like a win as this ensured BA stayed below us and we cannot finish lower than 3^rd from bottom. Should we be awarded the points from the Harrow game – and all the signs are we will – then we will move up to the heady heights of 4^th from bottom!!

We had lost 3 players in the previous 2 days - BA were definitely stronger than the last game – they had Ravi – Teto’s cousin and late of our 2’s – playing and they started strongly pushing us back and dominating the game. Inside 15 minutes they had scored twice from slipped short corners and but for a super save from Ant and a bit of fortune we could have been 3-down with little prospect of coming back. As it was, we scored from our second short corner after 20 minutes, the keeper obviously expecting Shaggy to kick it or top it wide – well! How foolish of him!! The Shagster scooped it home viciously and we gained confidence and probably had our best period of the game. Right on the stroke of half time, we got a short corner and Big Amit lashed it in with malevolent glee.

The second half, the game was end-to-end with BA shading the number of chances but we had probably the better ones but surprisingly it stayed goal-less and we were more than happy with that.

We will be unlucky to go down given we should be above 3 teams – if we do stay up, it will be due to our dogged, never-say-die approach and team ethic – higher league, better quality oppo, weaker team, no recognised goalscorer – Team of the Year, did I hear?!! Hurray for us!!

** with thanks and apologies to Bjorge Lillelien

Goals
Fat Dan, Adamski

Man of the Match
Dan Williams

Well this team talk was up there with the 8 Words of Power (which must never be repeated)…Big Amit obviously wanted us to go in hard, saying ’50-50 balls, I want us to go in hard, 60 per cent - 40 per cent balls, go in hard, 1 per cent 99 per cent balls’ and here he faltered but the team were ready and shouted ‘Go In Hard!!’…and it came to pass…

I should add one of the paragraphs below is not one of mine and was written by Fat Dan – see if you can spot it!

Anyway this was a rollicking good game – very open, lots of chances, a lot of effort and no little skill…any spectator would have enjoyed it, had we any.

We started very well and had a couple of chances straight off before Fat Dan used his weight advantage to score.

With their keeper performing heroics between the sticks Dynamite Danno knew he had to pull out one magical spell from his bag of tricks and indeed, did not let the public down. A ferocious drag flick from the edge of the area was unleashed and a ball of fire headed for the top of the net and the insurance on the nets would have to be paid out.

Yes, right, that happened after 5 minutes, well, we continued to play well but Witney unfortunately appeared to have read last weeks report because they were a good passing side, they were also young, fit, skillful and pacey – 4 attributes I am not happy to see in an opposing team. They equalised 15 minutes later through a bit of a soft goal but we could have had a couple more goals before Adamski reverse-slapped in a shortie for a rather nice goal, gotta say that I go in for the Gordo deflection on shorts and as Adam hit it, I had my hand over my head for protection, he is a serious Big Hitter!! Second half was fast and open much like the first, we were kind of hanging on for a fair amount of it while also looking very dangerous but it was fair enough though disappointing when they equalised with 10 minutes to go – and we were pretty happy with a draw against a good team. Last 2 games have been great and we have played well – unfortunately we did not continue that this week against a poor Harrow side and lost 2-1, Shaun Smith scoring his first goal for the 4’s from one of our few decent passing moves. Unfortunately for them, we discovered they had turned up with at least 2 first team players in their side – they didn’t play but their captain also played in the 1’s and he did play so we will have to see what the league makes of this

Saturday 8th March 2008

Please note that the Ladies 1st XI fixture v Teddington Ladies 2nd XI will now be played at 3pm, the Mens 4th XI game v Harrow 2nd XI at 4.30pm and the Mens 6th XI v Amersham & Chalfont St Peter 5thXI has been cancelled by the opposition.

Man of the Match
Ant Appleyard

Scorers
Dan Williams, Gordo

A new tip and a reminder this week - Tip no 4 for young, aspiring hockey professionals – don’t be cheeky to your mother and get yourself grounded so you can’t play hockey. I have been guilty of the first 3 but have never fallen foul of no.4 being a confirmed mummy’s boy.

I did however fall foul of Tip no 1 – don’t eat a curry the night before a game – especially not a Chicken Vindaloo! I knew at the time I shouldn’t be doing it but couldn’t help myself. Come Saturday and 5 no 2’s and I was feeling a bit light-headed – in fact a bit lighter generally – anyway with the thought of one of Rosemary’s teas later, I clenched everything together and curry-ed on with the game.

Aylesbury are a decent passing team and that is always a good way to play against us! Fortunately they were a little wasteful up front and Ant had his best game of the season for us and so we were only 1 down at halftime, which - again – became 2 soon after the restart.

As usual we then got our act together and started to have some possession and force the oppo back a bit – they also only had 11, which may have been a factor in the last 20.

We got one back midway through the half when a cross from a nameless person on the right found Fat Dan in time and space 6 or 7 yards out. All expected him to lift the ball over the bar as per usual but he didn’t get it quite right and flicked it into the roof of the net! OK Dan finished well! We gained confidence from this and could have had a couple from shorts and time was running out when Dicky Chessman picked up a clearance and cracked it behind their defensive line where Gordo was lurking out of position to do the Gordo deflection (copyright pending) from 4 feet out – cue the manly roar.

So our first draw, a great point and with 4 games to go, a strategic win i.e. in 2 weeks should see us stay up

9 Feb Ashford 4’s 1 Abingdon 2’s 2

Goal scorer:
Big Amit

16 Feb Birkbeck College 3 Ashford 4’s 0

Goal scorer:
them!

We managed nearly one decent game across these 2 games - unsurprisingly we garnered nul points.

Abingdon was a much better performance against a better team though Birkbeck we didn’t get the best prep turning up at the wrong venue through no fault of our own.

Abingdon first - poor first half by us, they passed and moved well and we were fortunate to be only one down at half time and they soon stuck another in. Then something strange happened - our best player, Dawson, hobbled off with a dodgy groin - I told him to groin and bear it - and we managed to first hold the oppo then with a lot of effort rather than flair or skill push them back and had the last 20 minutes as they tired. Amit scored with the Big Whack and the ‘keeper made a very good save from a Gordo deflection who was then very upset with himself when he managed to miss another Big Amit Whack and we put numerous balls across the D, sticks were flailing but nowhere near the ball and we lost 2-1 to a team who are 3^rd and looking at promotion.

Birkbeck was not a good day at all, sent to the wrong venue by the oppo, we arrived late at Cranford, which is a horrible surface, and were never at the races. 2 goals down in the first half we did improve in the 2^nd but huffed and puffed to little effect and when they added a 3^rd with 15 minutes left that was it….and then no tea!!…So we departed with no points, sweaty, smelly, grumpy and hungry (the other 3 dwarves were missing)…

Goalscorer

Cuffey

See 26 Jan post on Marlow game posted today for a much better result and report!

Hmmm well this was a case of men against boys…and we were the boys….Henley played short, pass and move hockey and had much better control of the ball and we struggled all first half to cope with them…even though on paper we were much stronger than the previous week against Marlow (who beat Henley the week before that!!).

We had chances early on but could not trouble their keeper whereas they were troubling Ant - at 3 down he hurt his ankle again and Matt Samouels deputised very well for him but he let in another 2 for a scary-looking 5-zip scoreline at half time.

2nd half we more than salvaged a bit of pride with Cuffey scoring instantly but then doing his knee in unfortunately - and the game was more even as we showed a lot of backbone although Henley continued to pass the ball better.

We could have got a couple of goals back and should have had a penalty and hopefully we have our form back for next week (although we are looking at a raft of personnel changes)…Henley scored in the last minute to equalise the half!…onwards and hopefully upwards next week!… 

Goalscorers:
Amit, Bob Billins

Man of the Match:
Amit

Tip no. 3 of a possibly very short list for young, aspiring hockey professionals – use a quality fabric conditioner for washing team shirts. Coach had invested in Lenor and most of the team commented on the feel of the fabric against their skin and the fact they smelled nice. It’s certainly a lot better than the 33p Tesco Value stuff I get! Mentally refreshed and positive from our fragrant shirts, we went out and got the result of our season!

We were 4 players short – thankfully Marlow had their main player out too – so we decided to play 4 in a tight midfield and force them down our flanks – can’t say this really worked as they were coming through everywhere all game.

Our first chance came after 15 minutes after we’d ‘forced’ a 16 – Bob blocked it out superbly, slipped it to Gordo (I was a bit taken aback by this but he also passed the ball to me), who found little Tom who was stick-tackled for our one and only short corner! Out it went and got the Big Amit Whack – a precision-point shot straight through the gap between the ‘keepers legs!

Our second chance came 10 minutes later from a Marlow short corner. Big Tom saved/booted it out to the 25, where Coach picked it up and passed to Amit who lumbered forward at top speed, he lamped it into the D from the right where Bob – with his back to the goal for some reason – deflected it past the statuesque keeper for no. 2!! That would be the last thing their keeper did all game.

The sniper on the grassy knoll made a guest star appearance and took out Coach who went down squealing like a 10-year-old girl (and that is being harsh to 10-year-old girls). The most sympathetic comment he got was ‘you can get up now, Coach, we got the hit.’

Second half we had 2 nice moves early where we got the ball into the D and that was the end of our attacking. It was like the Battle of Alamo, Custer’s last stand (in an alternate universe where the fort survived and Custer was a goodie) and ‘300’ with less blood….we were under a bit of pressure basically….fortunately they had a woeful short corner routine and we obviously defended very well. They did eventually score one of their 15 or so short corners with 16 minutes to go. I’m sure if you have 16 minutes to live, it goes quite quickly but when you are hanging on like a punch-drunk Rocky it seems an eternity. But hang on we did for a famous 3 points and maybe we can start dreaming of mid-table obscurity!

Everyone played their part but gotta mention Big Tom in goal and Big Amit who covered every millimetre of the pitch…very slowly….

Goalscorers
Gordon Smith (2), Rosie, Fred Cottrell, Phil Lewis, Adrian Hewes

Man of the Match:
Rosie

What a great game! Great goals, excellent result and the first goal for Bubbles in 30 years!! We turned up to be told by the umpire, Steve Smith, that it was too cold to warm up – in fact he had so many clothes on it was hard to tell it was him.

Anyway off we went with the main tactic to run around and warm up. The game was very open as you would expect from a rare friendly for 2 sides who try to play decent hockey. First goal was not long in arriving, good team play involving Coach and Rosie set Gordo up from his favourite distance, one yard, and he made no mistake. We edged the half and though conceding an equaliser, we soon were back in front, Phil ‘The Lip’ Lewis slapping home a Rosie cross. We then fell apart in the last 5 mins and let them equalise again before Neil seemed determined to get Eastcote in front at halftime giving endless short corners despite Bubbles protestations that he got the ball/the man fell over by himself/it only looked like he’d taken him out deliberately….so 3-2 down at half time.

We actually didn’t play as well in the 2nd half but were sharper in front of goal nonemoreso than Bubbles who wason hand to deflect in an Adam bazooka for his first goal since decimalisation – and he didn’t buy a jug!!!!! Shocking. Straight from push back their defence gave the ball away and Gordo played in Freddie who smacked it first time like a rocket as it came into the D just inside the right-hand post – great goal – and his dad didn’t buy a jug!!!! Shocking.

They got a goal back and then we scored another 2 goals – Adam fed Freddie – he was peckish – who passed down the line to Rosie and while he was scooting down the line and doing his stuff – Gordo ran 70 yards and dived the last 5 to deflect the cross in – and he didn’t buy a jug!!!! Not so shocking. 5 mins later, Rosie got the ball in a similar position, scooted in a similar fashion and was able to pass the ball into the goal…they scored again – Tom was disappointed – however he had been pretty busy and played very well so we’ll let him off this once.

Goalscorers:
R Holland, A Bhamra

Man of the Match:
Tom

Controversy reigned at Herschel as the home team raged over a disallowed short corner which they felt cost them the match. It happened midway through the 2nd half amid concerted home pressure - the ball was hit hard but squeezed and though the ball clipped the backboard it looped in the air - Steve disallowed the goal as it went over the line above the backboard height and stood his ground against a dismayed South Bucks team. To be fair, it would have been hard for any team to take but SB have found this season tough up in div 3 (so have we!) but were bossing the game and probably had their best chance of a win this season agaianst us. Miracle of miracles, Steve was correct and after the game their captain and I made up and wished each other well for the season.

We did not play well and the lack of matches showed the way we played - we won due to being a little bit better in goal and the form of our young goalie, Tom. We took the lead after 20 minutes from our 3rd or 4th short corner- their keeper had already made 2 great saves from Amit and Adam but finally let a Bhamra Big Whack in and we held out until half time.

Having decided to squeeze up a bit more and for the midfield to play a shorter game, we decided to ignore that and most of the midfield decided to sit on our 25 yard line and further back! This obviously invited South Bucks into our half and caused us problems the whole half. Having survived ‘that’ short corner, we then rubbed salt into SB wounds when Rhino flicked home superbly with them complaining to their umpire of a double-hit on push-out.

Goalscorers:
Adam Smith, Gordo, Amit, Bob Billins

Man of the Match:
Adam Smith

Wow under pressure from Ben’s 2nd team novella! A great result for the 4’s - yours truly a little surprised given we were 4 players light - but we deserved this win and it pushed us up the table to 4th from bottom - or as I like to call it - 9th from top.

It was not very nice at Imperial College and we weren’t allowed in the changing rooms either so we had to move to keep warm and started off pretty well keeping the ball and pushing the game into the Hayes half. We had a couple of half chances before Amit played in Bob whose first shot was blocked and he then belted the ball in from an acute angle inside their keeper - poor cross, nice goal!! 5 minutes later, we got a short and Adam smacked this in, the lad on the line got his stick to it but the pace took it over the line (in fact Adam really got his eye in as the game went on and drew compliments from a couple of the Hayes team which doesn’t happen very often!).

Second half they had a couple of half chances which we just about defended well enough and we then started to push them back again. 20 minutes in we got our 3rd when Amit matched Adam and whacked in a shortie and then the best goal of the game - according to Freddie - when the ball was cleared out to Amit on the halfway line and he smashed the ball 40 yards into the D where Gordo had run from left to right post to deflect in like a rocket from 2 yards. Get in! 4-1 and 3 points were coming to Short Lane!!

Amit still had time to see red when he was called a ’silly man’ - not the red card fortunately - but it was quite amusing after the fact. So another 3 points - leapfrogging Hayes - who will merge with BA at the end of this season and it can’t come soon enough for them I think - that’s 2 wins in the last 3 and we can see some light at the end of the tunnel. If we stay up, it will be a real achievement as the side is not as strong as last season but we still have the same spirit and determination and have given ourselves a more than decent chance.

….ooh and while I’m here, the under 18s had a marvellous result on Sunday beating Teddington under 18s (with 4 first eleven players) 3-2 in a Premier Legues game. I don’t think we’ve ever beaten them at under 16-up and we have a very small squad, the kids were fantastic - well done! 2 goals for Sharpy and 1 for Rosie…

Erm this was a really hard game for us - Sonning have obviously gained a ton of players and we were facing a team that would have dispatched the 3’s comfortably and given our 2’s a decent game.

Given that not a bad result, we restricted them to 3 short corners and a harsh penalty from the nervy and seemingly intimidated Neil Smith. One down at half time was a small miracle given the pressure we were under - the second half, when they scored 3 goals, we were actually a lot better putting some moves together and keeping the ball much better - most people played well and nobody had a bad game

Fingers crossed for this week against fellow strugglers Hayes!!

Goal scorer:
Gordo (2), Amit, Ryan Holland

Part 2 in my advice to young aspiring hockey professionals (part 1 was don’t eat a curry the day before big game) is don’t attend a function with a free bar the night before a big game - 9 times out of 10 it’s going to end in tears. OK this happened to be the 1 time in 10 it didn’t although the person in question was sick an hour before the game, he did score his first league goals of the season as the 4’s notched up their first points in 8 games!!

As usual we gave the oppo the lead but at least we kept it to 1 goal this time and then equalised fairly quickly as Coach slapped a good cross in and Gordo deflected in from 5 foot (and then had to go off). Play was fairly even but we looked reasonable only to go behind early in the 2nd half. Rhino scored a very nice goal a few minutes later making room for himself and reverse-stick smacking it home surprising their keeper. This was the key to us going onto win the game - equalising quickly - as we dominated the rest of the game. We took the lead when Adam unleashed a bazooka exocet missile of a free hit - he makes Big John from MK hits look like paper bag efforts - and Gordo deflected in from 2 feet - and cue his most manly squeal. Amit smacked in a short corner when their defence dared Amit to score - and he did - so a much-needed win and back in touch with the rest of the strugglers - and remember kids - Just Say No….

Goal scorer:
Shaggy

Our habit of only starting when we had conceded 2 goals went one better as we were 3 down after 20 minutes and things were not looking good. We found some backbone and play and held them until half time.

Second half we were much better and were in the game although Witney were the stronger outfit. Should have had a penalty when Gordo was bundled over just as he was about to miss a good chance and then Shaggy scored with a neat reverse-stick shot from a short corner rebound. Not a bad performance but not a good one.

Goalscorers:
Shaggy

Our habit of only starting when we had conceded 2 goals went one better as we were 3 down after 20 minutes and things were not looking good. We found some backbone and play and held them until half time. Second half we were much better and were in the game although Witney were the stronger outfit. Should have had a penalty when Gordo was bundled over just as he was about to miss a good chance and then Shaggy scored with a neat reverse-stick shot from a short corner rebound. Not a bad performance but not a good one.